TransplantCafe.com - The Gift of E-Life!

mark mcgrew

nervousness.

Guys, I am back home, and Waiting as a 1a. I fall under a special category of "malfunctioning device" which allows me to wait at home. There are some nervous moments, as my heart goes into VT with little or no warning. I am totally trusting God, and praying constantly.
I can never say enough about this site. I am allowed to be a scared heart patient here. I don't have to be brave all the time. I fight my fight, and I accept my disease for what it is, but it is still scary.
My biggest fear is that my daughters will be there... They have seen me in VTach, a chest full of staples, and numerous other medical procedures and maladies. I am brave, and fight hard to live, I love and trust God. But please don't ask my girls to be anything but what they are. Little girls. I remember bits and pieces of when my father was dying of cancer. I am not dying. I expect to grow old, and feeble. I plan to someday see an ocean. But please, heart, please don't steal their childhood. They deserve pink dresses, and barbie dolls. Not heart pillows and facemasks.
The proceding, is random thoughts. Comment, or don't. That is not why I wrote it. I am no more or no less than "ME" at the cafe, and you can all be sure, that, I love being me. It is my disease, and it has made me a better husband, father, friend, and Christian. I don't think I would like me as much if i hadn't gotten sick. We all have a second chance at life. That is what God offers us. Some will even get transplants...

2 Comments

Denise Martinez Comment by Denise Martinez on May 13, 2008 at 1:16pm
Mark...NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE when you put your faith and your trust in GOD. I was on dialysis for a year and two months. I fought hard to get on a waiting list for 8 of those months. Just 8 days after getting on that list, after I thought I could not go on for another day, I got the call. On April 9th, 2008 I received a life saving kidney/pancreas transplant. All the odds were against me. Forget about the fact that I had just gotten on the list. The transplant team told me I was put on hold and could not even be considered because my dentist had said all of my wisdom teeth needed to come out before the surgery. GOD is wonderful! My donor was an almost perfect match and I was given top priority for transplant. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Stay strong, my Friend. You have the best motivation ever- those little girls. You and your family will remain in my prayers.
Justine Comment by Justine on May 13, 2008 at 3:24pm
I totally understand how u feel....my life was spared by days...but I never gave up hope!! I had so much to continue living for...I have a real zest on life, and was not going to give up. You have a wonderful family and future still to see through and you will. I did write out my funeral wishes just incase though..but please I must stress that I did that - but KNEW..that would NOT happen....just I guess that was my illness getting the better of me too sometimes. be strong in your mind and I believe strongly in support and love around helps too. Keep positive!! smiles n hugs from me in UK xx

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